I'm Baa-aack!

            Okay, so it's been a long time. A really, really, really long time. I have been preoccupied. For one, I have school. School is something I do not enjoy. I do not look forward to any of the classes I currently have. I have effing year-long math. Anyway, some stuff I have been doing, in convenient list form.

1. I have lopped most of my hair off because long hair is a pain in the everything.
2. I started reading Homestuck. I have caught up and am now playing the waiting game 'til the Gigapause ends.
3. Trying to make a Jade Harley Godteir costume. I discovered cosplay is absurdly expensive.
4. Started an Homestucky RP thing with my friend. It's currently on hiatus.
5. Nearly filled up my drawing journal.
6. Worrying about my sanity due to a recent dream I had...
7. Banging my head on a keyboard instead of writing anything substantial.
8. Resisting the urge to start new story after new story when I have yet to finish ANY of my other ones.
9. Trying to convince myself that my other stories actually don't suck and to keep trying to finish them instead of 'revamping' them into something 'better.'
10. Gradually descending into a 'Don't Talk To Me, I Don't Care' attitude toward my classmates and swearing, mostly to myself, more and more.

            Truth is, a couple months ago I started a post and left it until it became outdated. Yeah, I'm on top of this. I'm organized. I can regularly update a blog.
She lied, quite badly.
So. I could apologize, but let's face it. I don't have anyone to apologize to. I don't exactly have a following. Nobody's waiting patiently or not-so-patiently for my next post. I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want.
Unless my dad or something decides to check in. Then I'd just... never hear the end of it, probably.
It can be a really uncomfortable situation, when you're family all looks at your stuff. If you're me, who's self-conscious as fuck, you sort of... censor yourself. Hold back. Be a little more edited. I'm kinda slowly dropping that now, as an experiment. And by dropping that I mean typing like I'm currently thinking it, which is with a couple bad words in it because I'm actually okay with it now.
Woo. I'm a rebel. (Waves fist unenthusiastically.)
            Okay see, what I did there was imply that I'm secretly very out there and edgy and--no. No, I'm a dork. I don't have a fucking clue what anyone wants from me and quite frankly most of the time I just don't care. I might as well not care here. It would save me a lot of trouble, being liked or known on the internet shouldn't even make my list of priorities at age fifteen. That's just stupid.
            Slight change of subject. I've actually had people at school call me rude. People who have continued to sort of irk me since the start and I'm gradually starting to lose my ability to keep up a facade of civility and am actually starting to show that I don't like these people. So I'm rude now. I'm okay with that. I'm not instantly rude to people, at least I don't try to be. But my previous habit of silently harboring a dislike of someone that eventually gets exaggerated into a passive-aggressive (not even aggressive, really.) hate just isn't healthy. Seriously, I might as well make it known that they do irritating stuff like look over my shoulder when I'm drawing or just plain bug me. That's the big thing-Don't fucking look at my stuff while I'm drawing it's not for you, you twat. I will jump, and I will snap at you like a feral cat. It's not funny, it's really intrusive. And it's not about how good I am, because I've had people try to reassure me of that. NO. That is my private journal and don't proceed to pull a twenty questions on me about what I do with it it's none of your goddamn business. Also don't touch it. And don't question why I literally carry it everywhere, because it has a lot to do with people who are just generally asshats. That kind of stuff will just make a small part of me instinctively go 'this person is not worth knowing and should be avoided.' I can't help it, it's just a learned habit.
Is being an antisocial bitch who's quick to judge a learned habit?
'Cause I've concluded that's what I am.
            Part of me want's to be perceived as nice, but I'm just sick of people. I have actually given up at going out of my way to make friends in high school. If I meet someone who's nice and I like them, fine. But I'm not going to surround myself with people for the simple sake of not being alone. That's what's really weird; if you don't have friends in school they think there's something wrong with you, you're unhappy or something. In middle school, I went to the counselor's every other lunch or something and I looked forward to it. She introduced me to two people that she thought 'were a lot like me.'
They were nice... and eventually after talking to them for weeks, I realized...
They were fucking idiots.
We had literally nothing in common.
Letting people pick my friends is the biggest mistake 13-year-old me could make.
Have I reached my moody-teen phase yet? (she asked the sky sarcastically.) I'm going to end this here, because I'm just going to get more an more negative. Goodbye.

T.Y.G.E.R.

In Which I Find Something I Like So Much I Spend a Whole Post Talking About It

            Okay, so the Alice: Otherlands Kickstarter is coming to a close in some 47 hours and THEY HAVE ONLY 85 PERCENT OF THEIR GOAL COMPLETED and that make me very nervous because I have way more emotionally invested in this idea than is safe for my sanity. How in ever-loving eff have they not met and surpassed the $200,000 goal yet? But before I continue ranting, I'll explain what the thing is for those of you not yet ready to click the link.
           I mentioned getting the art book for Alice: Madness Returns for Christmas last year here. A: MR is a video game, and a sequel to American McGee's Alice, which came out in the late 90's/early 2000's that I fell in love with for it's amazing environments, characters, and story. Alice: Otherlands is something of a preview into the third chapter in Alice's story, a series of film shorts of her going into famous minds and helping them fight their inner demons and such. If they don't raise at least $200,000, it won't happen.
And heads will roll if this doesn't happen.
A few more reasons why I am behind this other than any Alice stuff is just fantastic in my opinion, is that they have mentioned it possibly leading to:

1. A feature length film. They actually said that in the trailer. This could lead to a feature length Alice movie.
2. SOMEWHERE--possibly on the AMA American McGee did he said that there was talk of a third Alice game, and that talk was positive. In my head, these film shorts could pretty much be a great promoting thing for the game if that pans out.
3. The idea that Alice can now go into other's minds is so insane that I love it. I love the concept, and the whole dream-world thing has always been something I love to see played with in any media.

And also I suck at video games. I wouldn't be advertising it so much if it weren't so amazing yet so just-barely-there. GO! Look at the concept art! Go to the Facebook Page! And for god's sake donate if you can!

A Concept Called Feminism, and My Ever Present Fear of Being a Hypocrite

            Okay, so I have had this blog for a year now, and honestly that seemed more important back in June. Currently I feel too tired/bored/lazy to do anything productive, but I'm forcing myself to do this anyway, because sometime that's just what you gotta do.
            So recently (actually not so recently, just before school ended actually...) I've been introduced to a concept. Not particularly fun concept, and not really a new one... But not one I've had firsthand experience with. Really, the idea that sexism was still a thing in 2013 seemed absurd. Among other things... But the writer I followed on Tumblr rants about it constantly. As do... a lot of people. And they have really valid arguments, and I agree with them. 
Ach, god, this is tricky to put into words.
I found this webcomic and started reading, and it's weird... but fascinating. I wanted to mention it. I've sort of gotten my mind around feminism and what it's about and I like and agree with it. As a girl myself, I'm all for gender equality. I wanted to mention it. 
I don't want to bore anyone with a passionate rant about how all women are terribly oppressed, that's not the world I felt like I grew up in. Sure, there are nations and places where people have it worse than me, I could... I probably should (when I'm more informed on the subject)... rant about those places. But I cannot honestly include myself and them in the same situation. My problems are the upcoming start of tenth grade, their problems are getting an education at all. I've read about women being assaulted with bottles of acid for trying to walk to school. A girl my age got shot in the head for advocated equal rights to education--and, amazingly, survived and is continuing her cause (old news, I know, but news just the same). What I'm noticing here is (often white, Republican, and/or southern) male politicians being anti-abortion and generally offensive, idiots being idiots, and the quiet upholding of status quo by the media and well... sheeple. I've actually never used that word 'out loud' in a sentence... it's odd when you have a father who says it all the time. Bottom line, there are problems here (including the more serious stuff that once again I cannot apply myself to), there are problems there, and it's pretty clear to me which ones are more important, and to lump them all into one huge mess of 'mEN ARE JERKs RAWR!1!' would be unfair to people who have put up with worse. I'm a lucky gal, and I just wanted to talk about an issue I feel strongly about. That is all.

T.Y.G.E.R.

So I Used To Draw Comics...

            Okay, so I don't sing often, it's not really a thing I do. So when I actually put my headphones on and completely disregard how I might sound and just enjoy the music, I do not appreciate being informed of how terrible I am-ROSIE. Not cool. 
            And on a different note, I have come to the viable conclusion that I either do something everyday or once in a blue moon. There is no in-between. So what I'm going to do is try to keep doing things daily again and not just crash when I miss one day. Yay, more promises of productivity! We all know how well those go. Sigh.
            So I've been watching a lot of vloggers on YouTube  (Instead of working.) And part of me thinks 'Oh, that looks fun.' But... speaking verbally... more planning involved... we don't have a camera... I am neither British nor funny... yeah, that's not going to happen. Plus one of them draws stuff that makes me want to just face-desk because the list of things I actually find difficult to draw is quite long. Pretty much what I focused on the most was drawing faces and didn't pay much attention to anything else. Looking back at an old comic I realize I couldn't draw cars for crap, but at least it was on par with everything else in the thing. The was also this one part where I completely blanked on how to draw faces and there is just a stretch where I don't show anybody's expression. I was also attempting to draw 'realistically' in that comic.
What I thought realistic was is quite hilarious.
Though I admire my younger self's ability to do comics and not throw the paper away in frustration or puzzle herself over elaborate layout frame things learned from Maximum Ride graphic novels. And to actually be kind of decent minus the occasional terrible line, plothole, or factual inaccuracy. (I.E. A 12-year-old driving a car and nobody noticing.) But most could be explained by magic and science and things not even I could understand.
I wanna try to do a comic now.
I'm going to do that thing!

T.Y.G.E.R.

A Rant About Our Library

            So Yahoo is working again, but it really doesn't make a difference because no one e-mails me, so I freaked out for nothing. But I might actually use it one day! One day...
Yesterday I was rudely reminded that our public library is painfully limited and if you want anything specific you're flat out of luck. If they don't not have it, they probably have one freaking copy that you have to return as soon as someone else wants it, finished or not.
(Coughonwritingcough.)
I might as well just buy the god forsaken thing and keep it to thumb through as I please, but Mom is like 'No, that is bull crap' with... good reason... kind of because it wasn't that long and I normally go through books faster than thinking. Unfortunately the point of this was to absorb advice which is a bit harder than absorbing plot. Plus this thing. So I didn't exactly sit down and slog through in one big binge. And the lady, who was generally nice even though she had to tell me I couldn't keep it and that made me kind of irritated, said I could 'look to see if there's an another copy and check out that'.
Wouldn't that be redundant?
If there was a second copy, then it wouldn't be on hold now, would it? I checked. I was right.
But certainly if I was looking up something with the title 'Ten Reasons Why Jesus Loves You' or something like that, I would be up to my ears in content. That is just the kind of town we live in. So there's my rant about that. Goodbye,

T.Y.G.E.R.

Yeah, So Remember How I Said Every Other Day... I'm Working On It

            Okay, so yesterday I realized it was July now. I was actually weirdly upset. And It's not just because my sister woke me up with Pop-its and wouldn't shut up about fireworks. 
     Two days later, the fourth of July has passed, and we saw Jurassic Park in 3D. That was fun. I tried to add to my Tangent Adventure, but the more I try the worse it gets. I'm not going to just toss the idea outright, but... 
              Alright. Blogging. I will do this! Not in any sort of timely manner at this point, but I will do this!
I forcibly tore myself away from listening to music that I don't really like on Youtube to 'do something productive' and you know how I have a nasty habit of turning a matter of I'm going to see if I could get to any of the things listed in Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon, which is a brilliant book I would recommend you take a look at if you are interested in how-to books that are sort of not how-to books and more a collection of genuinely good advice in a brief ten chapters with interesting pictures. It had a few things that you could do that worked for him. These were my plans:

1. Make a Digital Desk and an Analog Desk (or move my Laptop, CD whatchamajig, and Tablet things away from everything else.
2. Start making a 'swipe file.'

This is what it turned into:

1. Make a Digital Desk and an Analog Desk (or move my Laptop, CD whatchamajig, and Tablet things away from everything else.
2. ORGANIZE ALL THE THINGS!!!... except my bookshelf. Also dusting!
3. [Try to] start making a 'swipe file.' Manage little.

On the plus side everything is pretty and clean! Except my bookshelf. I kind of like it.

            I've been having some really weird dreams lately... the best being the Doctor Who plus Inception plus something Chell Howe would get into which, sadly, ended way before anything good happened. The worst being the most recent where I got hit by a car. Yeah. Don't ask. I've actually been trying to write down what happens and the results have been amusing. My mind is a weird, weird place.

I quite like it.

            So on that note, I am finally finished with this goddang thing. I will publish this now, goodnight.

T.Y.G.E.R.

Warning: Lots of Whining and Excessive Use of Caps Lock

            Yeah, so I broke the streak. I was watching Inception with my dad okay?! I can't do this, writing stuff every day is HARD. But it lasted for twenty-three posts. That's much longer than I expected! Let's try for every other day, just so I have time to let myself not worry about this thing. I started this for fun and I want to keep it fun, and lately things have just seemed to get crappier and crappier. 
And no one wants that.
On another note, I AM SO ANGRY I THINK I MIGHT CRY.
You know how I said my pen stopped working unless pressure sensitivity tests were on?
NOW IT DOESN'T EVEN DO THAT!
I replaced a pen tip. I put in a new battery. IT HATES ME NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
It's a beautiful display of karma, or perhaps irony, that this would happen RIGHT after I whine about not having Photoshop, and my dad and I have this talk about working with what you have and he wants to see me drawing on it more before he starts feeding my 'give the mouse a cookie' nature and come back all 'Yeah! I'm going to do that thing!' All motivated and happy. And it doesn't work. As far as I know, it's not the Tablet. The tablet acknowledges that it is coming in contact with the pen. 
Admittedly, my first thought was 'ROSIE!' because she nudged it earlier and I was worried because the pen, sadly, is delicate and the whole big sticker saying LEAVE PEN TIP UNTOUCHED WHEN NOT IN USE that I left on there. But it's been knocked around quite a bit, and it makes a cruel sort of sense that they would make the pen that comes with it to break so you have to buy a new one. A replacement is only ten dollars or something BUT THAT'S A DODGY TRICK AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
(...dodgy...?) Nevermind.
Now I am afraid to ask if I can buy a new pen with my birthday money because I JUST AGREED TO A LECTURE ABOUT DEALING WITH WHAT YOU GOT! And now I've got a... yep, still not working pen and I tablet I WANT to use. UNIVERSE WHY TODAY?! WHY WITH THIS!? 
I genuinely hate everything right now.
And I feel bad for being mean to Rosie.
She takes that stuff way too hard.

T.Y.G.E.R.