Dave the Amphibious Dragon and Huge Scary Spiders

            Can you believe I very nearly forgot to to do this? Of course you can. This is me we're talking about. Anyway, I 'found' a spider the size of a small rodent clinging to my wall, and by found I mean it magically appeared there and caused me a large amount of concern, but I got my dad to come kill it dead. That was probably the most exciting thing that's happened in a month. God, where would that thing live?Ah well, one does not concern themselves with where giant spiders come from if one wishes to feel safe in their own home. Maybe the dragon in the crawl space let him in... 
            Yeah, a dragon (or Amphiblagon as he prefers to be called, because he's more newt-like than lizard-like) lives in the icky muddy wet crawl space that keeps gathering water. His name is Davintalolibiam, but you can call him Dave. He's buddies with a flying goblin named Henry and various slimy creatures who also reside beneath the house, all of whom I hate. The dude doesn't like me. Not that fond of Violet either. He would like to just chomp me to bits, if I wasn't so dang bony. Dave doesn't venture out of his livin' quarters that often, and only reason I know about him because I used to try and mount expeditions under there when I was but a small child and had a flashlight and my parents weren't looking at the same time. Scared the bajezus out of me first time 'round. He's got weird mostly see-though-ish white eyes with a bit of glowy light blue and snaky slit pupils, his skin isn't so much scaly as sort of smooth and it's sort of like holding a snake... but he's about the size of my room all curled up, and about as long as the house with his huge, ginormous tail. He's got four legs and sharp silver claws and webbed hands and kinda webbed arms. Oh, and he's got catfish whiskers on his face, but don't laugh at them or the next thing you'll see is his SUPER big, sharp teeth. He's real hard to see in the dark because he's all gray and black. It's natural camouflage. Most Amphiblagons live in caves. He mostly lives off leeches and algae, and mice when he can, but let's just say a wide range of things are edible to him and that's why you don't stick around down there long. Yeah, he would be the type to sic tarantula assassins on me. He should be more careful lest I throw a big bag of salt down there with him!
"I heard that!"
You were meant to! Amphiblagons deal with salt about as well as slugs. Henry (the flying goblin) and I get along, which is why we don't often interact with each other, but if he sends in more large hairy spiders I am entitled to retaliate, understand? 
"... Fine."
No more spiders, then?
"No more spiders."
Promise?
"... Grr... I promise."
Thank you muchly! Ahem... now that that's settled... Dave everyone! He's such a nice gentle-newt, aren't you glad you met him? My parents haven't, though. So shhh... He likes to stay the frick away from them. So, until tomorrow...

T.Y.G.E.R.